tbh the sims 4 actual gameplay looks like it sucks noodles, but i’ll probably drop heavy dough on it anyway because i’m a passive, meek victim of capitalism

I’ll take my Emmy now, thanks.

Anonymous: I'm from America and I pronounce NEW-tella like everyone else here does, by saying new-tella, ya bloody wanka.

That is not how you spell ‘wanker.’

Nah, she spent half an hour telling me about her very busy sex life in great detail the other week. Pretty sure she’s all good in that department.

Apparently the lady who works as a style adviser downstairs felt the need to approach my boss to talk about how hot I am.

I mean, she’s not wrong, but that’s weird tbh.

perksofbeingapiratecaptain:

hallucynation:

This was by far the most important thing that happened in Australia in the year 2000

You do not understand (if you’re not Aussie), how iconic this ad is. It’s actually a part of the Australian vernacular now and an accepted phrase.

jocelynseip:

i’m gonna leak my own nudes before perez hilton can 

Wrote a 2500 word short story off the cuff today. I’m not useless.

#Writing tip: no matter how frustrating your story is, chewing on your pen will not help.

gut perez hilton tbh